Politics do more damage than good???

     So  I think facebook can be a wonderful thing, but it can also shatter the fragile illusions you are still holding onto about people from your school daze!   In this post I decided to take a slightly more serious tone.  Since the election this year, and the passing of Prop 8  I've had numerous conversations with people that I went to High School and Jr. High with here in "The Bubble".  The interesting thing is how much they've varied.  I've had conversations with folks who support gay rights and gay marriage, some who aren't sure, and some who oppose it to a point where they actually worked on the campaign to pass Proposition 8.  This last group of people made me the saddest and hurt the most.  Keep in mind these were people that I was very good friends with in school and growing up who have since moved outside the bubble, and for that reason alone should understand being in the minority (especially coming from a place where you were in the majority) and being discriminated against.  Sadly this is not the case.  Some of these people I've received surprising support from, some I was so hurt and bitter by what they said I removed them as a friend to avoid further contact, and some asked me to remove them so I did.  

     There was one conversation in particular that stuck with me, for good or bad, I just cannot seem to put this one behind me.  So I've decided to put it out there for your review, the names have been omitted but other than that this is verbatim cut and pasted into this post.   A little background first, the girl who wrote me this I've known since Jr. High (8th grade i believe, maybe 7th). She was new to the school and the area and didn't know anyone, we clicked instantly and were friends all the way up through our senior year of high school.  After school, when she moved away and we lost touch I would be reminded of her here and there by many things and feel bad that we hadn't kept in touch better.  So when i found her on facebook I was thrilled, then I had the following conversation with her.

Her: 

I believe if you feel something is important, you should do something about it. I did work on the 'yes on 8' campaign because I felt is was important. I think no matter what side you're on, you can't let the issue pass you by.  That's my view in a nut shell. I'm betting you & I are on opposite sides of the issue. What are your feelings?

Me: 

We are on opposite side of the issue, and I appreciate you being honest and sharing your point of view with me. But I just don't see how it's right to legislate someones personal life. Any law that takes away A CIVIL right, is not a good thing. That's how the Holocaust occurred, through propaganda and the taking away of civil rights of the Jewish and Communist people. And the argument that two people who love each other and want to show that commitment will some how "destroy" the "sanctity" of marriage is ludicrous. That was destroyed long ago by people getting married too young and for the wrong reasons. And on top of that, it's not even about the marriage, it's about being able to be there for someone you love when they are sick and in the hospital (you have that RIGHT because you are married to them.) And the many other rights you have because you married someone, because you love them, and because you wanted to share you life with them, and show your commitment to them. People are trying to make it appear as if gay and lesbian couples are trying to storm the alters and holding a gun to the clergy's head to forcefully marry them, however in reality... most don't even want a religious ceremony. They want a civil ceremony free from religion because of how most religions treat the GLBT community. Look at what your mom went through in her marriages (yes plural),  Is that what a marriage should be? If a law was passed tomorrow saying "all women don't have the right vote" how would you feel? or how about "all African American people should have no rights what so ever" how do you feel about that? It's all discrimination, just because this one doesn't effect you personally doesn't make it right or ok. And you are affecting peoples live who already have it tough enough. Growing up being taught that there is something wrong with you (by your religion) and that you're evil and you're probably going to hell. Most gay people spend their lives trying to over come this programming only to be reminded of this by some bigoted politicians saying that the fact that two people (because they're the same gender) who love each other is wrong.  Who are they to decide? Sorry if this sounds heated, but obviously I am passionate about this issue. I would like to be married one day. And I would hope my friends would support me. Including you, because we were good friends for a very long time. I just don't understand HATING someone you don't even know, and that's what it boils down to for me. Worse than that, is hating someone you do know, and cared about once.

Her: 

The thing is, I don't hate anyone. I certainly don't hate you, and not any one else that I do, or don't know, who are gay. I do believe that marriage is sacred & ordained of God to be between a man & a woman. I do believe in civil unions & domestic partnerships. I do believe in gay & lesbian couples having all the rights, protections & benefits as married spouses. And under California law, family code 297.5, domestic partners are allotted those rights. 
The real turning point for me was reading about the rulings made in Massachusetts, parents were told that they had no right to object to what was being taught to their 1st graders, and they could not opt their child out of the lessons that did not coincide with their beliefs. I want to teach my children what I believe, I don't want it dictated to them by the courts. I want to teach them that we believe that God loves all his children, and we should love every one too. We also believe that God ordained marriage to be between a man and a woman. 
You and I will not agree, but that does not mean that we cannot be friends. I respect your views, and I hope that you can give me the same respect. Your feelings are valid, your anger & frustration & wholly understandable & I appreciate your right to disagree with me. I cannot begin to imagine how difficult it must have been for you being raised Catholic & growing up in Utah. I'm not gay, and there is no way for me to fully comprehend your hardships, and the hardships of others. At the same time, I will still stand up for my beliefs. And I respect you for standing up for yours. When the day comes that you get married, or have a civil ceremony, or whatever the case may be, I do support you. 

     So that was the whole conversation.  I still feel in my mind and heart that discrimination in any form = HATE! Keep that in mind when you are considering laws.  In her mind, it had to do with her children and what they were being taught.   I think it should be on parents to teach their children, too many are not involved enough in their kids lives.   And to the ones that are... I'll be the first to stand up and applaud you for doing the hardest job out there.  But I don't see how the one has to do with the other.  If you don't like what your children are learning in school, there are options (home schooling, private schools, tutors).  What I found ironic about her response was that she didn't want the courts dictating what her kids would learn, but she worked on a campaign to give the courts the right to dictate who can and cannot be married.  I don't post this to rail on her, but rather to show people how illogical people get about these issues and end up voting based on emotions.  Surprisingly I'm still in communication with her, largely due to the fact that at the end of her response she mentioned RESPECT.  Respect she has for me, and respect I have for her.  That's what it all comes down to. (*hops down off his soap box, and puts it away for a while).  I appreciate different perspectives, it's what helps us learn and grow (a lesson I learned from living inside "the bubble", how's that for irony for you) if we are open to it.   Otherwise, you end up operating out of fear, and that controls your life.